Moving on From a Perfect Relationship: Tips and Advice for Letting Go and Finding Closure
Finding closure after a breakup is never easy, especially when you felt like you had found your perfect match. In my own experience, I found myself falling for someone who lived on the opposite end of the country. Despite the distance, our connection was undeniable. We spent hours on the phone, met up for a week-long adventure in Colorado, but ultimately realized that we were not meant to be in a long-distance relationship.
Letting go of a perfect relationship is a process that takes time and effort. It’s natural to feel conflicted and unsure about your decision, even if you know deep down that it’s the right choice. In my case, I had to come to terms with the fact that I valued my life in the big city and the career I had built there more than I was willing to uproot everything for a relationship that may not have worked out in the long run.
As I navigated through the emotions of ending a relationship that felt so right in many ways, I sought advice from experts on how to move on and find closure. Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., a relationship expert and psychology professor at California State University, explained that the process of breaking up with a perfect person may be elongated compared to other breakups. This is because you still love the person, but you both have different life goals that are not compatible.
According to Walsh, the stages of a breakup typically involve contemplation, confirmation, testing, declaration, and finally, the official breakup. However, when you are breaking up with someone you still love but can’t be with due to conflicting life plans, these stages may take longer to work through. Friends may encourage you to reconcile, or you may find it difficult to make a clean break because of the deep connection you share.
One common pitfall many people fall into after a breakup is trying to maintain a friendship with their ex-partner. Walsh advises against this, as it can leave you in a state of limbo and make it harder to move on. Instead, she suggests going no-contact by unfollowing or muting them on social media and blocking their number. Removing triggers that remind you of the person can help expedite the healing process.
To further aid in getting over a breakup, it’s essential to find new friends who are not connected to your ex-partner. Building a fresh social circle can provide a sense of renewal and help you move forward with your life. Additionally, putting yourself out there and dating again can be daunting but necessary for personal growth. Walsh emphasizes the importance of not waiting until you feel “ready” to start dating, as the process itself can help you learn more about yourself and what you want in a relationship.
In conclusion, letting go of a perfect relationship is a challenging but necessary step towards finding closure and moving on. While the decision may be difficult and filled with conflicting emotions, it’s essential to trust your instincts and prioritize your own happiness and well-being. By following expert advice, going through the stages of a breakup, and taking proactive steps to cut ties and build new connections, you can heal and eventually open yourself up to new opportunities for love and fulfillment. Remember, it’s okay to grieve the loss of a relationship, but ultimately, it’s important to focus on your own growth and happiness moving forward.