Understanding Sexual Outercourse: Definition, Benefits, and FAQs
Sex education often focuses on sexual intercourse as the primary form of sexual activity, typically involving penetration. However, there is another form of sexual engagement known as outercourse that is often overlooked but just as valid. Outercourse encompasses any sexual activity that does not involve penetration, such as kissing, oral sex, mutual masturbation, edging, touching the anus, and rimming.
The definition of outercourse can vary, as some may exclude only penile-vaginal penetration while allowing for other forms of sexual activity like anal sex or the use of sex toys. According to Lee Phillips, Ed.D., a psychotherapist and certified sex and couple’s therapist, outercourse is anything that does not involve penetration. This broad definition allows for diverse forms of sexual expression and pleasure.
The Benefits of Outercourse
There are several reasons why individuals may prefer or exclusively engage in outercourse. One significant benefit is the avoidance of vaginal or anal pain that may be caused by conditions such as hemorrhoids, fissures, or digestive issues like IBS or Crohn’s disease. Additionally, some men may have medical disorders that affect their ability to achieve or maintain erections, leading them to choose outercourse as a more comfortable and enjoyable sexual option.
For individuals who are trying to avoid pregnancy or are not ready for penetrative intercourse, outercourse provides a safe and intimate alternative. Many people also find that they can achieve orgasm more easily through outercourse, as it allows for additional clitoral stimulation that may be necessary for sexual satisfaction.
Risks and Considerations
While outercourse can be a safer alternative to penetrative intercourse in terms of pregnancy prevention, it is not without risks. Some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact or the exchange of bodily fluids, even without penetration. It is important to practice safe sex measures, such as using condoms or dental dams during outercourse, to reduce the risk of STI transmission.
It is also essential to communicate openly with your partner about your sexual preferences and boundaries when engaging in outercourse. Consent and mutual respect are crucial in any sexual encounter, regardless of the specific activities involved.
Destigmatizing Outercourse
Despite the prevalence of outercourse as a valid form of sexual activity, there can still be stigma and misconceptions surrounding it. Joe Kort, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist, has worked to destigmatize outercourse by highlighting the diverse reasons why individuals may prefer or exclusively engage in this form of intimacy.
Kort introduced the term “sides” to describe queer men who only engage in outercourse, emphasizing that there is nothing wrong or abnormal about choosing to avoid penetrative sex. Outercourse can still foster intimacy and connection between partners, regardless of whether it is viewed as foreplay or the main event in a sexual encounter.
In conclusion, outercourse offers a diverse and inclusive approach to sexual intimacy, allowing individuals to explore pleasure and connection in ways that align with their preferences and comfort levels. By understanding and destigmatizing outercourse, we can promote healthier and more fulfilling sexual relationships for all individuals.